Blackjack X-ray Eyes Read online



  Blackjack X-ray Eyes

  Nina snow

  Copyright 2016 Nina Snow

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  “Joshua, I’m going to take the bandages off now,” said the doctor in front of him.

  Joshua nodded, hearing his mom make a nervous sound to his left.

  For thirteen years, he lived in darkness, blunt force trauma to the head from a car crash he couldn’t remember. But, there was a memory leading up to the accident. Mom was driving Joshua, his big sis and her to their house from his little league baseball game. His team won because of him, they were going to the playoffs. He was excited. He remembered the feeling of not be able to sit still wanting to tell dad. Dad had to work, but said when the game was over to call him with play-by-play results. And it was over, mom wanted to wait until they got home, because the roads were bad from a downpour a couple of days ago. The closer mom got to home the more the clouds seem to thicken and grow darker threatening to rain. But Joshua didn’t care, his team won, he was the hero more people had to know, his dad had to know. After asking his sister for her phone, only to learn she forgot to charge it last night, the battery was dead. He took off his seatbelt reaching for his mom’s phone in her jacket pocket. And that was it, he awoke to darkness, to nothing, then he started screaming realizing he couldn’t see and didn’t know he was in the hospital. Dad’s deep voice broke through Joshua’s panicked yells, then mom and big sis. The world hadn’t disappeared, but he lost apart of it.

  Mom and big sis weren’t hurt, they had their seatbelts on and combined with the air bags they were safe.

  Mom had been worried about the drive home, but he was the one that distracted her from an on coming swerving car on the bad part of road. Nonetheless she blamed herself.

  “Okay,” said Joshua his voice a little breathless.

  The doctor moved closer, the wheels on the stool he sat on squeaked as he did so, Joshua felt the doctor’s presence, the smell of cologne and then his fingers began to undo the bandages.

  New eyes, a cornea transplant, he was twenty-one years old, and he went to the nearby community college. He long ago had gotten use to his life in darkness. But this… to see again, it was going to be different from his memories.

  His heartbeat sped up every time he felt a layer removed from his head. Nervous or afraid, he wasn’t sure he was used to the dark. Besides, he never liked going to the doctor’s office, a feeling he inherited from his dad. But mom, she felt guilty, she never gotten use to it, she needed him to see again, so she did everything she could make it happen and when the moment came all he had to do was agree to go through with the surgery for her.

  After, the bandages came off, and the pain in between his eyebrows faded from the first time he opened my eyes, all of which the doctor explained would happen from the shock of the sudden light his brain beginning to register the objects its viewing. The second time, the pain was a dull manageable ache. The doctor, his parents were blurry masses for a few minutes until they came into focus.

  “Joshua, what do you see?” asked the doctor.

  A man in a green scrubs and a white lab coat, but Joshua didn’t say any of that aloud. He could see. The world shifted, his world shifted, was he whole, fully part of everything again.

  “Honey?”

  “Josh?”

  Said two familiar voices belonging to his parents he turned to look at them.

  “Mom…dad.”

  “Oh sweetie,” she reached forward hugging him.

  Dad clamped his hand over Joshua’s head shaking it.

  They didn’t look like his eight-year-old memories of them. Mom and dad were older, gray hairs and wrinkles, but Joshua knew theirs voices and their touch.

  The world was different, older.

  At home, there was a party, family and friends a rush of unfamiliar faces and recognizable voices. Especially, for the people he met when he was blind. Joshua didn’t think he was the kind of person to get panic attacks, but his heart was racing, his head was hurting, and it was hard to breathe, he had to get out of a place that was becoming more alien than home.

  He was careful leaving the house to sit on the porch in the backyard. His mom worked so hard for him to see again. He couldn’t let her know seeing again was freaking him out. Time, Joshua remembered the doctor saying, he would need time to adjust, he could do that, slowly.

  Early in the morning, the party was long over all the guests had gone, Joshua laid awake in his bed staring at the darkness. The dark was comfortable making him want his eyes not to work. He shook his head nope he couldn’t think that. Closing his eyes, he needed some sort of farewell to it for himself. Hey darkness he thought when they met he was afraid of dark because it hid things. Mom had to leave the hallway light on for him when he was little to keep the monsters and whatnot away. And then well he was suddenly incased in darkness. He had to get over his fear and become friends with the dark. And now the darkness wasn’t going to be as near anymore.

  He left his room going past his parent’s bedroom down the stairs to the kitchen to have a final blind snack. Moving through the house this was familiar and yet odd, because he didn’t use to have to keep eyes shut, but it was still what he needed now. He went to the refrigerator opening the door he opened his eyes. Party leftovers, all of his favorite foods, mom and his sister made it so he could see what they look like before eating them.

  “Weird,” he said aloud. He remembered mom always put a lid or aluminum foil over the food. But there it was the chicken and spaghetti uncovered to the air.

  He shrugged reaching for a single spaghetti string, but his index finger and thumb knocked something, it gave a dull scratching sound against his nails. He froze for a moment. Maybe this was depth perception the doctor said he would have to learn distance between what was in front of him and the space it took him to reach it. However, that didn’t make sense, because of the sound, he reached for the spaghetti again and once more his fingers hit a barrier. The sound was plastic, trying a new tactic Joshua pressed his hand flat over the spaghetti his palm was a good half-inch from touching the food.

  “What the-,” he paused then reached for a chicken leg next to the container full of spaghetti his fingers met a weaker barrier that sounded like aluminum foil.

  Joshua jerked away from the refrigerator, letting the door swing close.

  What’s happening?

  Was it his eyes?

  He covered his face with his hands squeezing his eyes shut. The surgery was a success. The doctor said there weren’t any complications. Joshua rocked back and fore on his heels. Was it him then his world was changed of course he was a little scared, but he wanted to see again, his mom wanted him to see. Maybe this was all in his head.

  “I want to see. I want to see, I want to see,” he whispered for a few minutes, he dropped his hands and stopped rocking.

  Taking a breath, he opened the refrigerator inside he saw a red lid covered the spaghetti and aluminum foil over the chicken.

  Okay he thought pulling out the spaghetti container. He lifted the lid the food laid as he saw it when he first went into the refrigerator. He replaced the lid moving to the microwave. Before putting it in, he had a sudden second thought and wanted to look at the spaghetti, looking down he saw the red lid fade, as if it was never there. Joshua’s shook, but he didn
’t drop it. Was this some kind of side effect of his eyes, being unable perceive certain colors? He put his hand on the invisible lid he felt it. It was there. Was that it?

  No, no that was not it.

  “Hey, Rob can I come over?” Asked Joshua.

  “Sure dude, nobodies here anyway, I’ll come get you.”

  “Dude you live two houses from me, I can walk.”

  “Oh yeah, the new eyes you can dodge rocks on the side walk.”

  “I need to tell you something.”

  “I bet looked up porn on the internet right?”

  Joshua laughed. He hadn’t thought to do that, “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Sure dude.”

  Rob Clarkson was Joshua’s best friend before the accident. There was small a gap in their friendship when Joshua first got home from the hospital blind, because both of them didn’t know what to make of the situation. But with the help of their parents they realized they still could be friends.

  Rob remained in helper buddy mode watching Joshua walk up to his house from the porch.

  “And the miracle continues,” Rob shouted as Joshua climbed the stairs. “Dude, no excuse now you’re going